


Seek to Hide and I Shall Always Seek to Find You

by silverducks



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:00:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21909337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverducks/pseuds/silverducks
Summary: It was such a simple game. Hide and seek. Yet how it had changed throughout the centuries.
Relationships: Loki/Sif (Marvel)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34
Collections: Mischief and Mistletoe 2019





	Seek to Hide and I Shall Always Seek to Find You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [summerof16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerof16/gifts).



> My wonderful Mischief Maker gave me lots of great prompts, but I settled on a combination of a few. Hope you like it. 
> 
> Slight canon divergences from the MCU in relation to Ragnarok. 
> 
> Merry Christmas!

It was such a simple game. Hide and seek. Yet how it had changed throughout the centuries. The first time she had been only a child. She remembers it clearly because it was the day she had met them, the two Princes of Asgard. Her mother had pushed her into a dress, braided her hair and lined it with flowers. Then, before a ten year old Sif had found the time to argue, she had been dragged to the palace and in front of the Queen. That had placated her, but only for a few minutes, because then she had seen them; two boys hiding behind their mother. One with hair as golden as the sun and the other as dark as the night. One beaming and one looking at her in contempt. She had glared back, but knew well enough even then to hold her tongue before the great Allmother.

Her own mother had pushed her forwards, into a bow, and then hastily retreated, with a muttered word to behave. Three strangers peered at her, but Sif had stood up straight, holding their gaze and with a warm smile, the Queen had introduced her family. She was to be called Frigga, and her sons Thor and Loki. There was no need for formalities now, but Sif knew well what her own mother would say. The Queen had left them shortly after, with clear instructions for her sons to play with her. The one called Loki had continued to glare at her, arms now crossed in dislike. His brother did not seem to have noticed. Immediately he had suggested the game hide and seek, proclaimed Loki to be _it_ , grabbed her arm and dragged her off. Sif had little time to even glance behind her, but she remembered Loki’s expression clearly; sour and resentful as he turned away from them in disgust.

Thor had dragged her to the gardens, hidden behind a tree near the rose bushes. The game had been explained as they had run, one hides and the other seeks. A game too simple to be any fun, Sif thought, but she’d remained silent. He was the Prince after all. She did mention her doubts about his brothers enthusiasm though, and that she highly doubted he could be bothered enough to find them. Thor had only laughed and sure enough, Loki found them scarcely ten minutes later, his face bored and his words cutting. Sif could even remember what he said, for it remained with her, even now.

“I see your new friend is just as stupid and inept as you, Thor. I am sure you will get along quite well.”

Thor had only grinned and insisted they play again, once again grabbing her arm and dragging her away, before Loki found them shortly afterwards, hiding now behind the cast iron gates at the garden’s edge, in the thick bushes that framed it.

The situation must have been conducive to both mothers, for it became almost a daily occurrence after that; her mother bringing her to the palace to play with Thor and Loki. Often did they play hide and seek and almost as often Loki sought them out nearly as soon as they had hidden. It was only on the days that Sif insisted on their hiding place that the game lasted longer, but sure enough Loki would find them. And the more they played, the sooner it became.

“Do you use magic?” Thor had asked of Loki once, finding them hiding beneath the bench in the stables on the outskirts of the palace.

“No, of course not.” Loki had answered coldly, “For would that not be cheating?” His voice was insulted, his words sincere, but something danced in his eyes, a trick of mischief within. He caught her watching him and smirked. Sif had quickly looked away.

Neither prince made any mention of changing the rules. It was only at Sif’s entreaty many months into her visits that they allowed Sif to seek. A count to a hundred by the palace doors and then she ran. The corridors of the palace and the paths of the garden were familiar to her now, the servants ignoring her as she sprinted past. She tried the last few places Thor had taken her to, but they were not there. On her fourth attempt, she paused in her run. Loki would not allow Thor such obvious places, but then Thor would not wish to travel far. They would be close, no doubt arguing as they had run and constantly changing direction. It took two more places, but then she found them, hiding in the kitchens behind a cupboard, greedy hands reaching up to grab a cake from the plate above.

“Well done Sif!” Thor had praised, but Loki had said nothing. Her smug smirk had been met with coldness, as even then the mask he often wore covered much. He might play the seeker, but he was always hiding something. Some mischief or trick, perhaps some deeper emotion or an untoward thought that Sif could not discover. She felt the strange desire stir in her even then to seek him out.

The following week she had declared that Thor should seek and before either prince could protest, she’d grabbed Loki’s hand and ran. Even now she remembered how icy his fingers were as they wrapped around her own, remembered the faint shiver that had run up her arm. Sif had pulled him through the gardens, heading for the small knot of vines at the far end she’d spotted by the wall just yesterday. She knew Loki would guess her place quickly, but not Thor. Hopefully he would not find them too soon and she could finally win at this game. She had pulled Loki into the vines, surprised by how dark and confined it had been. Loki’s body was close to hers in the dimness and she could hear the steady beat of his heart.

It took over an hour for Thor to find them, and so they had remained, squashed close together in the dark, the silence between them thick, yet strangely comforting. Thor had been triumphant for days later, having finally beaten his brother in their silly little game.

Despite Thor’s requests to seek again, confident and proud of his victory, Loki had flatly refused. Thor had laughed, guessing Loki simply hated to lose, which Loki never denied. But there was something about the way his gaze fell upon her whenever it was mentioned that made her curious. There were secrets hidden in the intensity of that gaze, secrets she wished to seek and to find. And she could still hear the sound of his heartbeat, echoing in her memory, as they had stood so close together in the dark.

It was only on Thor’s birthday nearly a year later when Loki had finally relinquished his role again as seeker. But there had been mischief in those emerald eyes this time, trickery in the way he’d smirked as he’d grabbed her hand. His fingers were still icy cold and once again Sif still shivered, despite the burning brightness of the summer sun beating down upon them. He’d pulled her far, their feet running fast and steady as they went through the gardens. Then out through the stone gate near the knot of vines and across the park.

“Where are we going?” Sif had asked as they ran.

“You’ll see,” Loki had laughed. A rare genuine laugh and Sif knew this to be a new discovery for Loki. A treasure he had wanted to share with her, and she had joined in his laughter as he propelled them along.

He’d led them to a small copse of trees, just on the outskirts of the great forest, near the park. There was a tree there, an oak much older than the rest. Its branches were twisted, reaching down towards the forest floor and revealing a small nook within its trunk. It was inside here that Loki pulled her, their small bodies fitting tightly within the wood. After an hour or so, they’d heard Thor calling, his voice carrying over the copse of trees as the wind rustled through the leaves. Sif had started to laugh, ready to jump out and surprise her friend. But Loki had stopped her. His fingertip had reached her lips and he had shaken his head. Sif had stilled instantly and neither spoke another word.

Thor never did find them. As the dusk drew near, the two children ran back to the palace, where Thor was waiting. He was upset and angry that they had hid so well, especially on his birthday, and Loki and Sif had taken the fury without complaint. She could still feel the faint echo of Loki’s icy fingertips on her lips.

The game had changed as the seasons rose and fell away and the years went on. Sometimes the seeker became the enemy and when they were found they would run, fight, knocking each other to the ground and wrestling in the dust. When the time came for the princes to begin their training as warriors, it did not take much persuasion from them to their mother to allow Sif to train with them. Her own mother could broach little argument and so Sif had moved to the barracks at fifteen, opening up more places to seek and to hide.

And as they’d played together, the mothers had watched, encouraging her friendship with the two princes. They didn’t notice then the looks cast between the two women, or the meaningful looks that fell on her and Thor. It was only later, far too late, when the three children grew in age and understanding, that the truth became clear.

Sif had not been able to find Loki for over a week after Thor had told her the news. That she was to be betrothed to Thor. It was nothing official, of course, but the night before the Allfather had let slip his plans for Thor. Her friend had been embarrassed when he told her, Sif had been in shock. The friends had decided to never mention it again between them, to let what would be, be. She had almost asked Thor what Loki had thought of his father’s plan, but something had stilled her tongue. That strange desire stirred in her chest again, to seek Loki out, to talk to him, but about what, she knew not. Yet Loki had continued to hide, eluding her, only her, for days.

Sif had resisted for several nights, before finally asking Thor where Loki was. Her friend had only shrugged. Thor had seen him a few times in the library, working on something important apparently. Yet when Sif went to the library, he was nowhere to be found. She had searched every nook and cranny, every dark and dusty aisle and shadowed corner. She had tried every corridor in the palace, and the gardens, the kitchens, the gnarled tree in the woods. Her friends all spoke of seeing him, but when she sought those places, he could not be found.

After a week, he had appeared; suddenly there at dinner in the great hall one evening, as if nothing had happened. An intricate magic spell, he had declared to all and Sif could find no grounds to question him. For why should he tell an untruth? What reason did he have to hide from her then? She too had pretended nothing had changed and there had been no mention of any betrothals.

When Sif had awoken the next day, her hair had been cut clean off. It had lain like a golden halo on her pillow. She knew it was Loki, everyone did, but none could prove it so he escaped unpunished. She hated him, longed to seek him out to destroy him. To break down that mask and find the answers to the secrets he kept hidden. To ask him why. But she had never dared, too nervous then to seek the answers she feared to hear.

Her hair had returned to her, but as black as the night. Just like Loki’s. It made her look the formidable warrior she longed to be, Loki had said, and in that moment Sif knew she had forgiven him.

It was only then that the game of hide and seek now began again. They were far too old now for such childish games, but it was almost an acknowledgement of the peace now between them. Thor was to seek, this time the hero finding the damsel in distress. But Sif was no damsel in distress and she’d argued with the older prince until Loki had dragged her away. They had run to the copse where they knew Thor could not find them, laughing as they went. Sif remembered clearly her happiness that day, her joy at Loki’s friendship finally being returned to her.

The nook in the gnarled oak tree was much smaller than she had remembered. She had to move close to Loki so they both could hide. Her back was pressed against him and his breathe was hot on her neck. When had he grown so much taller than she? His fingertips were still icy cold where they brushed her arm and this time her shiver seemed to reach through every vein in her being. She stood still, afraid to speak, afraid to move. The laughter had quickly died between them and the silence now stretched, thick and intense, save for the thundering of her own heart, ringing in her ears. Minutes passed, then an hour, until Sif could bear no more.

“Do you think Thor will ever find us here this time.” She had whispered, turning her head around so she could see him. His face was close, much closer than she’d expected and even in the dull gloom of the oak, she could make out flecks of gold in his emerald eyes.

“No.” Loki had whispered, his voice so faint Sif had to lean closer, lean upwards to hear. She could feel his breath on her lips now, lighting a fire within her despite the coldness of his skin. His face was part in shadow, as if even now still hiding from her, so she leant further forwards and sought out his lips with her own.

Once more, Thor had never found them and they had stayed in the copse until the shadows became long and dusk drew them back to the lights of the palace. He had only let go of her hand when they had reached its golden gates, shining in the moonlight. With a finger to his lips, he had walked inside and Sif had followed.

Thor had been surprised when the very next day they had both so readily agreed to another game of hide and seek. “But aren’t we becoming too old for this?” Thor had asked, annoyed that once again he had not been able to find them.

“No, we’re old enough now for this game.” Loki had answered, his voice light with laughter as once more he dragged Sif away. They had laughed and ran and danced the whole way there and again did not return to the palace until dusk chased them away.

This was their secret now, their new game of hide and seek. He would hide now in the shadowed corners of the palace, waiting for Sif to find him after training, or on the deserted balconies after a feast. He would hide in the green meadows and the forests and by the rivers of Asgard and the realms they visited. Sometimes he would even run and Sif would have to chase. But she would always find him.

It was only when it was too late that Sif realised Loki had still been playing their old game of hide and seek. Hiding secrets and thoughts and emotions from her. Hiding his bitterness and resentment and the jealousy that gnawed at him, stronger as the years went on. How different may things have been, if her fear had not blinded her and had known she still must seek.

Sometimes, when they had still been children and their adventures still remained in the safer walls and woods of Asgard, Thor would laugh as he dragged Sif away, shouting that Loki was to be a Frost Giant today. An evil monster from the realm of Jotunheim. Then they would hide in the hottest places they could find; the ovens in the kitchen, or the saunas in the bathing rooms. Loki would soon find them and pretend to melt, to be defeated by the heat and the power of the Aesir. Once they had even tried to hide in the great vault in Asgard, by the casket of ancient winters. Loki had been about to grab it, playing the part, when the Allfather had caught them. His fury had made the three friends quake in their boots and the casket had lain undisturbed as they had ran for dear life. The King had never mentioned it since, cordial again when next they met, but they never did hide in the great vault ever again.

Oh, how those particular games of hide and seek had haunted her later, when the truth had been revealed of Loki’s heritage. They had been only children, innocent and naïve, but Sif could never forgive herself for her ignorance. If she had known he still lived after his fall from the bifrost, that he hid on Midgard plotting revenge, she would have found him. Nothing would have stopped her from travelling every path and searching every corner of the nine realms. And finally, no longer allowing fear to blind her, she would have found the courage to ask him why. Why he had betrayed them, betrayed Asgard and betrayed her. Why he had cut her hair all those years ago. And why he had not trusted her with his secrets.

But when he had finally returned to them, first tied in chains and then in the foolhardy escape from Asgard, she had lost her nerve. For too long she could not find the man she knew, so well now had he hidden himself away. It had been news of his death on Svartalfheim that had finally broken through her bitterness. She knew then would seek him even in death, if only she knew where in death he lay.

With time she would have sought him out on the throne of Asgard, wearing his father’s face. But he had not wished then to be found and had cast her away. A foolish mission it had turned out to be, on the edge of the worlds, outside even of the nine realms. But she had found her way back to Asgard, as she always would. Loki should have learnt by now she would always seek him out, whenever he tried to hide from her. Sif often wondered if that was why he hid so much. 

Now she was to seek him for the last time, as the fires of Ragnarok burned all around, turning the air to ash and the ground to dust. After the last enemy had fallen at her feet, she had given into the call, that strange desire that had pervaded her since childhood. Her feet followed the familiar path through the garden and across the park. The small copse of trees was nothing but burnt embers now, glowing softly in the eerie light now cast upon Asgard.

He was already there, waiting for her to find him in the nook of the gnarled oak tree. It had remained untouched, its leaves still green underneath the black chards of the once golden Realm Eternal. Yet she knew it soon would fall, as would they, the very last souls that still stood on this cursed ground. The cycle of Ragnorak was almost complete and soon the world would begin anew.

“Perhaps you are not as stupid and inept as I’d first thought. You have finally sought me out, Sif.” He rose as he spoke, stepping out of the nook to stand amongst the raining ash. Yet not a drop fell upon him.

“Only because you finally wish to be found, Loki.”

“By you, always, if you had ever truly sought to find.”

“I sought all along, Loki, but you were always too busy hiding to notice.” She walked towards him as they spoke, took his icy cold fingers in her own, standing beside him by that gnarled oak tree in copse on the outskirts of the crumbled palace.

“And I am now hiding no more.”

And as her lips crushed against his for the last time, the very ground they stood on cracked and fell beneath their feet. As they fell into the very branches of Yggdrasil itself, she felt the familiar smirk play against his lips and knew she had finally found what she had sought all along.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story. 
> 
> There were so many great prompts, that I did start writing another story at first, an action/adventure type fic which just ended up getting too long to finish on time. I'll finish it soon and try and post it in the New Year.


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